Ehm... could you send me the same list??? I have a meet with Sahi soon, and I'll ask her to do my measurements...

cyan wrote:

Libra-in-a-roundabout-way wrote:

Ehm... could you send me the same list??? I have a meet with Sahi soon, and I'll ask her to do my measurements...

I already have your measurements, m'dear....  though I do need your neck measurement.

And the neck measurement is easy????

Marian, have you received my email?

No worries, Marian.  I just wanted to make sure you got the email.  ;-)

In other news, the crystal pearls for your necklace arrived yesterday, along with the odds and ends I needed.  The dark green pearls seem to have a bronze-ish sheen to them, I'm not sure how I feel about that considering that I'm using all silver findings.

Oh, gosh, I should update here.

* I'm settled in in my "new" job, three months now. It's... okay. I can't really say too much about it here, not now. But there will probably be changes in the next month or two.

* Still broke. I like having leisure time to write books (even crappy ones), work on gym class teaching, and to generally Figure Out My Life, but I need more money. Seriously. My car needs a new windshield and the inspection is past due, my eye exam is in June, my cat's annual exam is in July. I don't know where I'm going to get any of this. Happy to pay rent for now, and trying not to freak out.

*I still feel depression sneaking in around the edges. Exercise seems to have been the biggest thing to pull me out, but I still have to make a daily effort to not just give up.

*I loved that there was a scene (well, two, technically) at a science fiction convention in The Jane Austen Book Club. I especially loved that there was a character named Tad in the same scene. One who bore no resemblence to our dear Dog, but still... coincidence?

*confidential to cyan: measurements within the week, promise. (And still, kick me out of the costume brigade if I'm already being too difficult, surely someone is more deserving!)

Last edited by Marian (2009-04-07 08:49:11)

I totally agree with Sahi!  *leaves huggles*

I've noticed all my money worries are working themselves out. I'm getting little sources from here and there that help balance everything out. A little babysitting here and there, a few extra classes.... It's like, I've taken a step in the right direction and the universe is saying, It's cool, keep going. It always seems to come just when I'm getting most frustrated, too. So, thanks universe.

If you read any self-help books, money always ends up being a central topic. The concepts vary, but the idea usually boils down to, Do what you love, and the money will follow. I'm pretty sure this is one of those things that only works in American books, because if you handed it to someone in the slums of <insert third-world city>, it would do them more good as fuel for the fire. But anyway... back to my American New-Agey thought....

I do think this tends to be the way of things. Last year, I made more than I ever had in one year. It was an amount I was sure would give me a sense of stability and well-being. But it didn't. I felt like I had nothing to spend, nothing to have fun with. I barely had enough to take a vacation, and by the end of it, I had nothing. How does that happen at 30k a year? It should have been plenty.

And now, making much, much less, I feel a much greater sense of financial freedom than I imagined I could at this amount. I have enough to pay bills, buy food, put a few pretty plants on my balcony, and I'm still going to be taking a vacation in the fall. (I'll probably still be broke by the end of it, but I'm strangely okay with that.) This weekend, I'm taking my mom on a daytrip to the beach for Mother's Day.

I'm not sure I'm making a lot of sense here, just that I think a lot of the New-Age self-help section has something to it. Money is energy, and if you feel trapped and limited in your life, you'll be trapped and limited by your money. If you feel freedom in how you live, if your heart is open, if you reach out to the people around you.... a sense of richness comes naturally, and money is secondary.

Last edited by Marian (2009-04-28 12:37:15)

*settles down on couch with knitting* It really is time I pieced this bit together. I always procratinate so on the finishing.

Let's see... Nothing too huge on my mind, which I suppose is a blessing. Either that, or it means TV and the Internet have finally managed to turn my brain to goo.

Internet: Facebook. Nuff said. Horrid creation, and I can't stop myself.

TV: I actually found House was the show that had me on the edge of my seat last night, going OH MY GOD, where 24 would usually win on that front. Holy moly, what a twist! I woke up thinking about it.

I find myself thinking, who do I really want to be friends with? At first Facebook made me feel like I should just be grateful for how many neat people I have in my life. Now it makes me feel even more like I need to really value the people I'm closest to, talk to them more, check in on them, and actually see them in person from time to time.

It's so hard to make true connection in our technology-ridden world. I have friends around the world who I feel closer to than people who live three miles from me. Not complaining, because they're all worth it, but I should probably see my nearby friends at least once a year, too - if I actually want to be friends with them, which I'm still deciding.

Hello, 8-year-old Marian. Welcome Back. Maybe.

Ivo has taught me to always ask "Do I need this?" Which kindof sums up all three of those questions. :) And sometimes the answer is "No, but I still want it cause it's pretty."

But mostly I enjoy shinies in the store. :)

I like the "all of it" answer, btw.

As I've been dealing with FaceBook addiction lately, I've been reminded of just how much this online life has been huge for me, my whole adult life. (I can't even imagine what it's like for the following generations, how they've grown up wired in, tuned in.)

I love how people I've met once or twice, or never, feel like my best friends. It's almost like keeping that new-friend feeling forever, getting to know what's cool and fun about each other.

Thing is, it also makes the hurt, and embarrassment, sting a little more when it does happen, as it inevitably does. Online communities thrive when accusations are few, and forgiveness rampant. The glow of delighted friendship becomes more muted, more real. This isn't a bad thing.

I've embarrassed myself so many times, and hurt others, and have often thought, I should just pull back. These people would be better off without me. But I've also found a voice of articulation, humor and love that I don't regret finding, as it has spilled over into my everyday life and made me a better person.

I continue to find a sense of balance and happiness in my life that is just this side of unbelievable. Every day is filled with doing things I love. I am, most days, not just happy, but completely full of joy. It's a very nice way to live, to say the least.

I have a supplementary job starting in September, which means I don't have to find a new full-time job - and all things considered, that's a great thing. I rather like the family I'm working with now. I am also glad that some of my leaps of faith have worked out - in fact, all of them I can think of right now. Aside from a few scary bumps (okay, giant crevasses) in the road earlier this year, everything has worked out just perfectly. I couldn't be happier.

I've been running lately. This is a new hobby, and I don't expect to ever be fantastic at it - but it's fun for now, and I like the way I look.

I am thinking about the future a lot, but I'm not obsessing about it. I'm enjoying my life so much right now, why live in the future?

Okay, let's see..... I've been doing pretty well since my last update, I think.

I finished my knitting project, making my own bathroom rugs. (Blue and cream, out of Homespun, for those interested.) They are pretty and soft, and now I need another knitting project. I might browse some around for a good one. I don't know what I'm in the mood for. Definitely not socks, and not rugs. Maybe a gift for someone, and get early on the Christmas work.

I am in this mood to quit everything. It seems like a wall I usually hit before a breakthrough, though, more than any real disatisfaction with my life. I'm quite happy overall, but I just keep thinking about quitting things. Quitting Facebook (which might not be a bad idea, really), quitting teaching at the gym, quitting group commitments. It's a little warm and summery for hibernation, but the feeling is the same. I keep asking myself, where does this energy want to go? I have all that time I wanted when I left my old life (or my in-between Unhappy Life, since that was really a break from my Old Life, which had also been fairly happy), so why would I need more time? What do I plan to do with it? Read more? Write books? Go for weekend hikes?

It's such a big world, and I still feel like I'm limiting myself. I really want to do something, but I keep trying all these things and going, "No, that's not quite it." It's like I'm tasting from a lot of different dishes, and trying to figure out the one I want every day for the rest of my life. Maybe that's the problem. I don't want the same food every day for the rest of my life. I want a new dish, every day, with one or two favorites every week. Is that really so much to ask?

I don't see anything wrong with that. Maybe now I just need to stop telling you there's nothing wrong with it and convince myself.

Thanks, Em! I don't think I'll be doing that. I've come close in the past, and that's no fun! And life is too valuable.