- Desperate Elf
- Pilgrim
- From: Pskov, Russian Federation
- Registered: 2004-05-04
- Posts: 262
- Website
Fallen Youth(lyrics of one of our songs)
After considerable amount of doubts, I decided to poke the smarch community once again, since it is the only and the most speacial English-speaking community on the net, where Gods of American modern litrature reside from time to time from their tiresome labors.
So here is the brief picture of the situation.- I play and sing in a band, nowhere russian band from a small russian city.(www.myspace.com/sludgeband) What a mess, you would say, and I have nothing but agree. For now:) But i've always had in mind that if I gonna write lyrics it should be in English not in Russian. So, I've always was afraid to show that stuff to some native English speaker, being only Russian, who tries to write poetry in English- it could be funny and dangerous. But I desperatly yearn for critics, you see...All opinions would be the most welcome.
Honest and straightforward, and even the most negative opinions would be of great help. I have to know if they are too clumsy or wasted...
So here it goes, a very special song to me, (Max already saw them)...
Fallen Youth(Third World Anthem)
I'm a fallen youth
in my sixties I'm eleven
I'm not blind enough to forget the light of heaven
Purpously naive
T.V. Shows make me so bitter
Your life is so vital to my heart
Egocentric times , do you think that you know better?
Selfish, cynic lies- not your troubles do not matter
Have we any right lift our heads and seek salvation
When kids fade and die like grass in fall?
And you shoudn't even bother go away and #&*% with other
And you shoudn't even care, now it's easy not to care
We are nothing more then dolls, pretty bodies, ugly souls
We are nothing more then tears on the face of God that leers
We've done nothing to
Stop this rotten dead empire
All that we can do is to throw weak to the fire
We are content, so many sad places
Money to spend, make up for our faces
Outro:
Glory to the scourge
Devil in my church
Under yoke of time,
Your smile looks like crime
[
[ July 12, 2006: Message edited by: Desperate Elf ]
"Today the world is run by three of the most secretive institutions in the world: The International Monetary Fund, the World Bank, and the World Trade Organization, all three of which, in turn, are dominated by the U.S. Their decisions are made in secret. The people who head them are appointed behind closed doors. Nobody really knows anything about them, their politics, their beliefs, their intentions. Nobody elected them. Nobody said they could make decisions on our behalf." - Arundhati Roy http://www.myspace.com/sludgeband
- Desperate Elf
- Pilgrim
- From: Pskov, Russian Federation
- Registered: 2004-05-04
- Posts: 262
- Website
Re: Fallen Youth(lyrics of one of our songs)
Heh, then they are too clumsy, I'm afraid. But Smarchers are too polite...:)
Yeah, non-English speakers who try to write in some other languages should have almost perfect "feeling" of the other language and be as talented as Vladimir Nabokov was, for example , who wrote the majority of his books in English and only then translated them into Russian..Ehm.
[ July 12, 2006: Message edited by: Desperate Elf ]
"Today the world is run by three of the most secretive institutions in the world: The International Monetary Fund, the World Bank, and the World Trade Organization, all three of which, in turn, are dominated by the U.S. Their decisions are made in secret. The people who head them are appointed behind closed doors. Nobody really knows anything about them, their politics, their beliefs, their intentions. Nobody elected them. Nobody said they could make decisions on our behalf." - Arundhati Roy http://www.myspace.com/sludgeband
- Libra-in-a-roundabout-way
- Mantis
- From: the lowlands
- Registered: 2006-03-29
- Posts: 10990
Re: Fallen Youth(lyrics of one of our songs)
Well....yes, actually you're right *giggles*... non-english speakers should have a perfect feeling for english...hehehe
But for real....i did like it very much and my earlier remark still stands....poetry cannot be bound to rules and regulations...
Especially in music....just look at the majority of songlyrics!! You just have to make consessions to the music....or you'd end up with very weird music, that would change with every new sentence...
"If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend you life completely wasting your time. You'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living, that is, to go on doing things you don't like doing... which is stupid."
~ Alan Watts
- Desperate Elf
- Pilgrim
- From: Pskov, Russian Federation
- Registered: 2004-05-04
- Posts: 262
- Website
Re: Fallen Youth(lyrics of one of our songs)
Thank you very much for encuragement...Agreed about regulations...Mars Volta's lyrics are a good example...
"Today the world is run by three of the most secretive institutions in the world: The International Monetary Fund, the World Bank, and the World Trade Organization, all three of which, in turn, are dominated by the U.S. Their decisions are made in secret. The people who head them are appointed behind closed doors. Nobody really knows anything about them, their politics, their beliefs, their intentions. Nobody elected them. Nobody said they could make decisions on our behalf." - Arundhati Roy http://www.myspace.com/sludgeband
- Desperate Elf
- Pilgrim
- From: Pskov, Russian Federation
- Registered: 2004-05-04
- Posts: 262
- Website
Re: Fallen Youth(lyrics of one of our songs)
Dear English speaking smarchers, here is again a skecth of one of our songs...I'm very shy, cause I know that I'm clumsy with your English langauge...Please, I need your help- if there is any grammar or spelling mistakes, or just wrong use of words- please point them out...And I would be glad if any impressions, even the most staightforward and negative will be told...I'm serious. If it's a crap, I definetly need to know it...
Garden(Death of Dreaming)
I can't deny sad God I worship,
I can't remember full moon
Piercing my eyes it comes distortion
Leaving one question- How soon?
Take me away, my waiting is over
Ill have to pay in heaven
Not all are gone who are now forgotten
Their blood is flowing through the wind
Your heart seems cold, your remorse is rotten
And I’m too young to quit
Over and over hide inside it
Endless confusion, bleak lives
Are you still standing undecided?
Just take a look to their eyes.
Tenderly(?) go, my sorrow is rising
I will not fall, I feel you
I wish we'd seen their lonely glances
And felt their inner broken world
Their dreams held more than our laugh and dances
I wish their tale was told
If I could a feel little more affection
I'd blame myself a little more
A little one crawls without direction
Self pity is a w**e(a bad word meaning a woman without moral values ...Ehm. I hope you got what I mean)
[ August 09, 2006: Message edited by: Desperate Elf ]
[ August 09, 2006: Message edited by: Desperate Elf ]
"Today the world is run by three of the most secretive institutions in the world: The International Monetary Fund, the World Bank, and the World Trade Organization, all three of which, in turn, are dominated by the U.S. Their decisions are made in secret. The people who head them are appointed behind closed doors. Nobody really knows anything about them, their politics, their beliefs, their intentions. Nobody elected them. Nobody said they could make decisions on our behalf." - Arundhati Roy http://www.myspace.com/sludgeband
- bumadax
- Pilgrim
- Registered: 2001-06-11
- Posts: 9734
- Website
Re: Fallen Youth(lyrics of one of our songs)
Desperate Elf wrote:Thank you very much for encuragement...Agreed about regulations...Mars Volta's lyrics are a good example...
what was that? oh by the way i met them, DE. i hugged the singer and gave him and the guitarist demo cds of my music. happy for me you must be.
smile at people
- Mr.48
- Pilgrim
- From: Toronto, Canada
- Registered: 2006-08-07
- Posts: 67
Re: Fallen Youth(lyrics of one of our songs)
Don't worry about the lyrics man, as long as you have a good tune almost nobody will mind. Just look at Lordi from Finland. The lyrics are ridiculous but I like them anyways.
He who understands the past controls the present. He who controls the present decides the future. - Michael Vesker
- Avialle
- Pilgrim
- From: Yekaterinsburg, Russia
- Registered: 2006-08-21
- Posts: 3
- Website
Re: Fallen Youth(lyrics of one of our songs)
Wow! I'm not an English speaker, in fact, I'm also Russian :-) But anyway I'd like to express my opinion. I just admire that you can write lyrics in English! I can imagine how awfully difficult it must be...
- Mr.48
- Pilgrim
- From: Toronto, Canada
- Registered: 2006-08-07
- Posts: 67
Re: Fallen Youth(lyrics of one of our songs)
More Russians huh? Our army grows!
Dobro pojalovat!
He who understands the past controls the present. He who controls the present decides the future. - Michael Vesker
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