Attention Mantidae:  I hereby and forthwith petition for the Church to be moved back to its rightful place in the Neighborhood.

All hedonists, epicureans, and bohemians are welcome in this Church.

The Church is in the downtown section of the neighborhood, near other cultural institutions, such as the Slacker Country Club.

The Church is a large, imposing building, with beautiful carvings and stained glass; much like a Gothic Cathedral, but with much less depressing themes for its art, if you catch my drift.

Instead of pews in the sanctuary, it has huge soft couches, made from all kinds of sensual materials -- velvet, leather, furs -- and in all sorts of rich colors.

There are doors leading off into assorted comfortable side rooms.

The baptistry is a hot tub large enough for a dozen occupants.

The prominently featured cross is Saint Andrew's style, and does not bear any figure on it... Unless one has been put there temporarily.

There are stairs leading up to the choir loft. The choir sings beautifully, and though there is an excellent pipe organ, the choir also occasionally features modern sounds; the Church can be converted to a stage for concerts, and has been known to host musicians playing everything from classical to rock -- sometimes all at the same time.

One door from the sanctuary leads to another stairwell, up to the bell tower, from which you can get an excellent view of the rest of the Neighborhood. Balconies on the east and west side provide a lovely view of the sunrise and sunset, and a catwalk leads out to a large open observatory platform, complete with telescope, from which one can watch the stars, on a clear night. All locations, naturally, have comfy chairs and couches, for those wishing to lounge. (Lounging is, of course, a minor sacrament of the Church.)

Following the belltower stairwell downwards leads you to the basement, where all sorts of books and other media are stored. Media items can be displayed on the IMAX screen (normally kept hoisted into the ceiling, out of sight) and 13-speaker sound system in the sanctuary, or can be viewed in private viewing rooms downstairs. For readers, more couches are available, and some of the private rooms are simple, quiet, well-lit nooks. Snacks and drinks are freely available in small kitchen; first door on the left after you come down the stairs.

There's also a large kitchen upstairs, appointed with everything you might need for creating a feast. A door at the back of the kitchen, which is set into the outer wall of the Church, and thus ought to lead outside, actually leads to the Extradimensional Pantry, which is at least as well stocked as that in Kitchen Stadium.

One door in the basement, hidden deep in the Catacombs -- a maze of twisty little passages, all alike -- leads to the private chambers of the Church's Most Irreverent Father. They are dimly lit, and filled with pretty things, and the main room is centered around a very large canopied bed, which is sunken into the floor a few inches, rather than raised off of it. The Reverend will happily hear private confessions, confusions, or even concupiscences. Make an appointment.

Another basement door leads through a long windy passage, over to the Skeleton Closet.

Those wishing to become Brothers or Sisters in the Order of Erotic Pantheists need merely declare themselves such.

Do as thou wilt, an it harm none.

Joyous love to all!


Officers of the Church include:

* Irreverent Father Auros, founder of the Church, and High Priest of the Ordo Eroticopantheistica.

* dragondawn, First Ministress of the Ancient and Mysterious, But Not Particularly Secret, Rites of Erotic Pantheism

* Miiru, Consort to the All-Deity

* Jaime, Superior Suggestive Scribbler

* Geisha / Shelley / Ian / etc, First Bedmaiden to the Consort

* jaded, Mimosa Girl

* Susan, Demo Model for the EP U course of studies in the Marital Arts

* Sherindal, Captain of the Sacred Cougars (our platoon of Amazon guards)

* Renfield, Resident Pornographer and Deacon of Making Cheerleaders Squeal

* Nevayl Larand, Innocent Maiden ... (why are you laughing?)

Last edited by Auros (2013-04-04 02:02:01)