An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car,she found four males in the act of leaving with her car! She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun,preceded to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, you scumbags!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags in the back of the car and went back and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken up that she couldn't get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why!

A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces further down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad
elderly woman described as white, less than 5 feet tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

[ January 21, 2003: Message edited by: Angelus he Truth Fairy ]

Sorry to hear about the laptop Sahi. I expect you had more sense than me and made regular backups. Am awaiting a new pair of restore disks to replace the scratched ones I so foolishly used to try and reboot with.

Thanks. Got my fingers crossed at the moment that when I get the disks they`ll erase the partial boot that keeps my comp looping AND will remove all lingering traces of my frirnd Klez (I very foolishly opened an attachment on a blank mail from a friend without a virus scan first). Right now, I`m using  my old PC with it`s outdated 500mhz processor and a mere 64mb of memory. Sherry thinks I should put in some extra memory but I can`t afford it and I wouldn`t know how.

Thanks Sahi, you`re one in a million. I guess if you can cope with cub scouts then fixing a computer virus is child`s play. A pity you aren`t allowed to reboot or upgrade the little beggars eh??

INSTRUCTIONS FOR REPLACING MOUSE BALLS

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically,it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by  properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive.  However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.  Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these
necessary items.

[ January 22, 2003: Message edited by: Angelus he Truth Fairy ]

Nah, if you steal you won't be able to go back. And if you're in bad luck, the Dutch police will simply hand you over. They always find you. Marrying a rich old lady on the other hand.... Make sure she loves you enough that she will just hand you the money. Killing them makes such a mess...

yalahii.

Two down, three to go. That and uploading them all.

Yalahii.

Sahi, do you want to participate at the story contest? i note this in the UCC then

Then again, we might not be able to finish this fast enough.

yalahii.

I've read about that! I loved the story!

Yalahii.

Well, a couple months back there was this trial in the West Virginia courts. A man was being tried for fornicating with a sheep. Anyway,the key witness was an old fella who was walking along the highway by the farm where the sheep was raised. The prosecutor asked the witness what he saw.

"Well, I was walkin'along, and saw this sheep just'a eatin' grass. And then this fella walks upfrom behind the sheep, real quiet-like."

"And then what?" asked the prosecutor.

"Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close."

" And what happened after that?"

"Well," said the witness, "they sorta shook for a couple of minutes.

THEN, afterwards, the sheep turned around... an' licked him!"

Just then one of the members of the jury leaned over to the jurymember next to him and said, "You know... a good sheep'll do that."

*LOL*

Yalahii.