Tad Williams' Message Board

Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies -- 'God damn it, you've got to be kind.'
-    Kurt Vonnegut, 1922-2007

Welcome to the message board for tadwilliams.com. All comments are welcome, whether kudos or brickbats. However, please bear in mind that Tad would like this to be a friendly, civil message board, at least in the relations between users. We reserve the right to remove postings, or even ban postings, from anyone who crosses the boundary of reasonable taste. Basically, you can argue vigorously with someone, but watch your language, okay? We have a lot of young readers as well as grown-ups, so please show them some respect.

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#51 2008-11-23 09:30:56

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

*nods* Yeah, as much as I like the idea of working a part-time retail job and having lots of free time and flexible schedules, there's a reason I haven't worked retail in ages. It really doesn't usually pay very much.

 

#52 2008-11-27 10:56:48

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

Here is something that is beginning to sink in: My life is really going to change.

Of course, that was my intention in changing careers, but as I look at how my daily life will actually have to change to accomodate my much-lesser-pay (which I still have faith will come through, one way or the other), it's an all-encompassing change.

It really is true that your lifestyle stretches to fit what is available to you. I read a post I made 8 years ago here where I said that $800 was enough to cover my monthly expenses. No way, now. No way. But I am cutting back a lot, and that will force me to make some choices. Even though I've been on what I thought of as a strict budget for years, it's going to be really strict now. I won't be able to go to the grocery store or out with friends without giving serious thought as to how it will effect my goals.

Between paying my family back for helping me through this month, and saving for travel (which is second in priority only to paying back family), I will have very little room for spending beyond my basic monthly bills. When I go to the grocery store, I'll probably have to buy more staples (potatoes, rice, pasta) and more frozen foods, and fewer fresh vegetables and fruits.

When I go out to the pub, I am going to have to change my entire mindset about what place that has in my life. It's been my drinking hole for almost ten years, and I can't afford for it to be that anymore. But I don't want to give it up, either, because it's a place I find a great sense of community and friendship bordering on family. So it will be a mental shift. How can I go there and support the establishment without letting my money fly out the window? I have a glimmer in my mind right now of a concept of it becoming a healthy place for me, and I'm not sure how that will manifest yet.

What I do for fun, how I occupy my free time, how I get out into the world, all will change. I will go out less (which is already minimal), drive less, buy fewer things, and choose quality over quantity. I will do more hiking for recreation, more walking to places that are close instead of driving, more inviting friends over instead of going out. More trips to the library and (even) less buying books.

I'll have to say no to a lot of things, which has felt scary and limiting, but on the flip side, it will enforce the simplicity I've been craving in my life. All of this is really still quite fuzzy in my mind, but I'm starting to get a clearer vision of how my life will be, and how it will be better, and that's a little exciting.

 

#53 2008-11-27 11:21:42

Magpie
Mantis
From: the town of thistly flowerbeds
Registered: 2006-03-27
Posts: 25241
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

That sounds tough, Marian. But, hopefully, the changes will indeed bring good things for you.

It makes me wonder how my life will be when I finally move out of here to live on my own. It's something that I'm both looking forwards to, and something I'm afraid of.


But, one thing I could never give up are fresh vegetables and fruit. I'm a plant person not just in my interests, but also in my eating habits - I like meat, but I don't miss it when I don't have it. A lack of apples in the house, however, seriously ruins my day.

 

#54 2008-11-28 00:50:32

Sahi
Mantis
From: Assendelft (the Netherlands)
Registered: 2001-06-04
Posts: 39326
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

*hugs Marian* Good luck! It's really weird, cause I really think that over here fresh fruit and vegetables cost a lot less than the frozen variety.


"Because it is scientifically impossible to have enough books." - Patrick Rothfuss

Scrollbearer
First member of the Shadowmarch Council of Sages, Official Quiller's Mint Historian
You may call me the Porcupine Lady, or if you are feeling generous the Erinaceous One.

 

#55 2008-11-30 19:08:02

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

Firsfron, no, I chickened out.... Maybe after Christmas. I don't think I can take holiday crowds right now, not at minimum wage, at least.

Sahi, yeah, that is strange... convenience frozen foods are more expensive, but I can get a big bag of frozen veggies for less than it would cost me for a bunch of celery and a head of lettuce.

****

On other topics, Sunday night....

Sunday night.

One of the nice things about my life right now is that Sunday nights are not torture.

I am getting lots and lots of quality time with my cat. I think I have officially entered some kind of special Old Maid territory here, because this is really very satisfying to me, even though she is unconscious for most of the time we spend together.

Clover is growing nicely, and this means that all is well in guinea pig Fig's world.

I am reading Lord of the Rings (finally), planning vacations, and daydreaming about all sorts of things, including travel. I'm starting to get a feel for what a well-balanced life could feel like.

Also, I would really like a Song of Ice and Fire calendar.

 

#56 2008-11-30 19:10:51

Em
Mantis
From: somewhere left of reality
Registered: 2004-12-28
Posts: 43411

Re: Marian's Living Room

Marian, frozen veggies are better (vitamin-wise) than fresh. They veggies are picked and frozen almost immediately.

You do not know how long the fresh veggies have been sitting around. And time is the enemy of vitamins.

 

#57 2008-11-30 19:25:10

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

Yeah, I've heard that, too, about frozen and canned, and that shelf produce loses most of its nutrition in shipping....

But fresh nectarines and peaches and strawberries and bananas just taste so good.

 

#58 2008-11-30 19:35:32

Em
Mantis
From: somewhere left of reality
Registered: 2004-12-28
Posts: 43411

Re: Marian's Living Room

Marian wrote:

But fresh nectarines and peaches and strawberries and bananas just taste so good.

Yuck. I don't like fresh fruit.

 

#59 2008-12-01 00:25:38

Sahi
Mantis
From: Assendelft (the Netherlands)
Registered: 2001-06-04
Posts: 39326
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

Poor em, that really is your loss!

Fresh fruits, yumyum! This weekend I made pear tarts. Very yummie and really easy.


"Because it is scientifically impossible to have enough books." - Patrick Rothfuss

Scrollbearer
First member of the Shadowmarch Council of Sages, Official Quiller's Mint Historian
You may call me the Porcupine Lady, or if you are feeling generous the Erinaceous One.

 

#60 2008-12-01 12:03:54

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

Mmm, pear tarts.... Okay, I'll be splurging sometime soon, that's for sure!

I have a job interview on Saturday, for a nanny position quite close to home, no more than a five minute drive! Two kids and a baby on the way, 30 hours a week.... it could be just the thing.

I really hope they love me and I love them and I start next week, so I can make my car payment on the 16th!

 

#61 2008-12-01 13:28:10

Magpie
Mantis
From: the town of thistly flowerbeds
Registered: 2006-03-27
Posts: 25241
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

Yay Marian! Good luck!

 

#62 2008-12-01 13:31:44

Em
Mantis
From: somewhere left of reality
Registered: 2004-12-28
Posts: 43411

Re: Marian's Living Room

*crosses fingers for Marian*

If you need a character reference ... um ... well ...

Neber mind.

 

#63 2008-12-01 13:32:31

Em
Mantis
From: somewhere left of reality
Registered: 2004-12-28
Posts: 43411

Re: Marian's Living Room

Sahi wrote:

Poor em, that really is your loss!

Fresh fruits, yumyum! This weekend I made pear tarts. Very yummie and really easy.

:o(

I have issues.

 

#64 2008-12-02 01:45:46

Sahi
Mantis
From: Assendelft (the Netherlands)
Registered: 2001-06-04
Posts: 39326
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

*hugs Em* I know. I didn't mean to tease you with them. I truly felt sorry.

*crosses fingers for Marian*


"Because it is scientifically impossible to have enough books." - Patrick Rothfuss

Scrollbearer
First member of the Shadowmarch Council of Sages, Official Quiller's Mint Historian
You may call me the Porcupine Lady, or if you are feeling generous the Erinaceous One.

 

#65 2008-12-06 12:45:18

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

Update!

The afore-mentioned interview went very well. I could not have conjured a better family for whom to work if I were a High Priestess of Conjuring Art. They were down-to-earth, kind, easygoing, lighthearted, and didn't say anything like, "They are really well-behaved children and will do whatever you ask of them without fussing." (Note to anyone looking for work in childcare: Run far, far away from any parent who claims this. Seriously.)

I would say more about what a perfect job this would be, except I'm a little scared to jinx myself.

So, back to crossing fingers!

 

#66 2008-12-08 11:23:27

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

[cross-posted to LJ - sorry, I'm trying to avoid doing that too much! But this is my all-purpose update for a bit]

At this very moment, I am on the verge of tears. It's all a little scary for me right now. So, news!

***Good news: I had an interview with a really great family on Saturday. The mom is only a few years older than me, and we seem to think on the same wavelength, not just about kids but many things. As a family, they seem really lovely, very laid back and easygoing, but practical, too.

I would very much like to work for them. The hours would be great (and flexible), the pay fair. It fits just so perfectly into the vision I've been nurturing for my next phase of life. Something where the job fits in, can be a comfortable part of my life and personality, and doesn't suck up 80% of my time and energy.

I received a call from the agency, and the family liked me, too. They would like to have a second interview with me. I imagine this would be to have me interact with the children more, since they and I barely said hello, then they ran off to do other things while the grown-ups had their boring talk.

So this is very encouraging, and I am fairly certain they are going to hire me. I just wish it were now because I am beyond broke.

***Bad news: The scary part, here. I am more broke than I have been in a very, very long time. This fills me with panic. I have been broke in different ways the last few years... more of a theoretical brokeness, that if I spend money on something now I won't have it to spend on something later. It's been years, however, since I've had no money in the bank account, three dollars in my wallet, nothing in stocks.

I picked up my gym checks today and deposited them, and am not yet in the black. Car payment and insurance comes in next week. Very scary.

I've already borrowed a frightening amount from my family, and it's going to take me a long while to pay that back. And the trip I have my heart set on for next fall? I can't bear to think about giving that up, but it's starting to look like a long road getting there.

*Sigh*

***More good news: I am now finishing the toe on the second of a pair of socks! They are going to be my magic socks, and will make me happy when I put them on. I just know it.

I am also working on a volunteer project making scarves for next year's Special Olympics. It gives me a warm feeling inside to make these chunky scarves for the participants. Knitters and crocheters, if you're interested in participating, submissions must be in by January 14, and you can find guidelines here.

There is a pattern you may (optionally) follow on the above site. If you're looking for something fast and chunky, I recommend knitting with size 13 needles and knitting with two strands at a time. Ribbed works especially nicely! (I can write that up in a very easy pattern if you've never ribbed before; only knitting and perling knowledge needed!)

Last edited by Marian (2008-12-08 11:25:41)

 

#67 2008-12-08 14:30:27

Libra-in-a-roundabout-way
Mantis
From: Yonder green hills
Registered: 2006-03-29
Posts: 11418

Re: Marian's Living Room

*crosses fingers, toes and all other crossable body-parts for jobness to go according to plan*

On the knitting things I'll not say anything except for that I really don't know anything about it....

On the being broke thing.... well, as a person that has (shamefully) wandered trough Maastricht looking for coins that people might have dropped, during my college years... I know exactly how that feels. But.... the good thing is, it can only get better.... (and sometimes you get a break, as the time I was stood up during a coin-seeking raid. The dude said "Your money or your life", holding a knife.... and I just cracked up and laughing out loud said something like "Then take my life, 'cause I don't have much more." After a bit of; your bank card? ("empty"), you phone (" not usable"), your rings (" valueless"), the dude ended up giving me ten euros to go get food...)
And also a good thing.... when you do get that job and money is in direct availability again, and you've made a paying-off arrangement with your family.... You'll enjoy the money-having so much more than before.

So hang on in there, don't panic, be glad there's people out there wanting to help you and be grateful when the money comes in again, because for lots of people this is every day life....

*huggles*


Scrollbearer

"If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend you life completely wasting your time. You'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living, that is, to go on doing things you don't like doing... which is stupid."
~ Alan Watts

 

#68 2008-12-08 14:51:33

Sahi
Mantis
From: Assendelft (the Netherlands)
Registered: 2001-06-04
Posts: 39326
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

*shares huggles*

I've said it before and I'll probably say it a thousand times more in the coming year alone: I'm the most fortunate person alive. I've never been poor. I didn't have much money in school, but that was just luxury money anyway. My parents paid for my living and my education. All I had to pay were my own clothes and books and 'toys'. But I still feel extremly rich now that I have a full-time job. (Of course they pay better than average, which helps a lot in the feeling rich.)

I can only wish the two of you a job as great and well-paying as mine.


"Because it is scientifically impossible to have enough books." - Patrick Rothfuss

Scrollbearer
First member of the Shadowmarch Council of Sages, Official Quiller's Mint Historian
You may call me the Porcupine Lady, or if you are feeling generous the Erinaceous One.

 

#69 2008-12-08 15:15:06

Libra-in-a-roundabout-way
Mantis
From: Yonder green hills
Registered: 2006-03-29
Posts: 11418

Re: Marian's Living Room

Oh I still think I'm lucky, although I cannot wait for fortune to knock on my door.... I have a roof above my head, I can feed my cat and myself (the rest of this month will be leftovers from the birthday party and I shall never again do birthday-parties, as they are just too expensive... and I did not even do cake or anything special).
And I think that once bf and I live together and share the general fixed cost, that a life of utter luxury (in my eyes) will start for me.... And of course there's the pay raise that will come in this month, along with the bonus I was expecting for three months now (which will be VERY consciously spent, darnit!!!)

But I think knowing poverty is not such a very bad thing.... although Sahi, you are one of those people that, even with knowing no poverty, still can enjoy very small things, and I admire that, because I know way too many people that have no clue how great it is to buy (silly example) a ten-euro wallet and how happy you can be with something like that.... I'm happy that I did learn that, because I do not think I would be capable of that if I had not known poverty... I'm way too easy in accepting situations....



*poverty is a big word of course and I don't use it lightly, just out of not having another word for it.... I've not known real poverty, because I've never had to live on the streets or eat out of a bin or anything like that....


Scrollbearer

"If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend you life completely wasting your time. You'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living, that is, to go on doing things you don't like doing... which is stupid."
~ Alan Watts

 

#70 2008-12-08 16:19:58

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

Yeah, being poor sucks. I grew up poor. We always had a place to live, but the feeling of not having money became something that was very scary for me very early, and in a way what I'm dealing with right now is bringing that all back up. My mother didn't keep a job very steadily, and the phone was often disconnected, and there was always that feeling of instability and not knowing what was going to happen next, not being able to depend on anything being the same tomorrow as it was today. So I'm having those same old fears (and most of the dark times in my life seem to run parallel with money issues, so it brings up memories of other hard times I've had as an adult, too), and then there are the fears that I'm going to end up like my mother. That is the scariest idea for me at all, in a lot of ways... money, independence, health.... I want to be stronger than that.

*deep breath*

But yes, Libra, I agree, being able to fully enjoy the small things in life is a good side-effect of that. I saw someone leaving the grocery store today with just a couple of bags, and had the longing though, "But I want to go buy things at the grocery store!"

Don't worry, I'm not starving, plenty of rice and pasta left in the cupboard, and I can live on just carbs for at least a couple of weeks. :) Just feeling sorry for myself.....

 

#71 2008-12-08 16:21:38

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

And Libra, that story about getting mugged is just.... *shakes head* man.

 

#72 2008-12-11 15:20:18

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

I hate not having money.

I applied for another job at the gym today, which I would take over the nanny job, because it's a position I've always secretly coveted and has much better pay, and benefits.

And I'm kind of tired of this not-having-money thing.

 

#73 2008-12-12 12:30:30

cyan
Mantis
From: Magic Loft of Design & Wonder
Registered: 2005-02-16
Posts: 25060

Re: Marian's Living Room

*leaves a pile of four-leaf-clover-shaped jellybeans for Marian*

 

#74 2008-12-16 07:26:58

Marian
Pilgrim
From: RVA
Registered: 2001-06-05
Posts: 18036
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

*eats a jellybean or two*

I'll save the rest for luck. I need it!

I am either on the verge of a nervous breakdown or a spiritual breakthrough. Maybe both? I am overwhelmed and in so deep I don't know if I'll ever see my way out again.

I just can't think about it anymore.... Today I'll read.

*plops on couch with book*

 

#75 2008-12-16 07:51:11

Sahi
Mantis
From: Assendelft (the Netherlands)
Registered: 2001-06-04
Posts: 39326
Website

Re: Marian's Living Room

*sends some of her own luck to Marian*


"Because it is scientifically impossible to have enough books." - Patrick Rothfuss

Scrollbearer
First member of the Shadowmarch Council of Sages, Official Quiller's Mint Historian
You may call me the Porcupine Lady, or if you are feeling generous the Erinaceous One.

 

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