Tad Williams

4 February 2010

This is just so funny that I had to reproduce the thing here (its origin is subcription only.)

So with thanks to the Bookseller Online (and also www.stannicholls.com) ...

Record number of submissions for the 2009 odd title prize

The Bookseller’s annual Diagram Prize for the Oddest Book Title of the Year award has drawn a record number of submissions, prompting custodian and publishing bon viveur Horace Bent to create a “Very Longlist” for the very first time.

Bent, who blamed social networking site Twitter for the rise in suggestions, received a total of 90 submissions — almost three times as many a last year (32).

Although Bent received a record number of submissions, he expressed frustration at the reciprocal rise in the number of ineligible submissions. He told The Bookseller: “The adage that everyone has a book in them may well be true, but that doesn't mean every Tom, Dick and Harry out there can bash a few words out on a keyboard and then upload it to Scribd with a humorous title like: The Historic Adventures of the Purple Waffle Iron on His Horse Made of Asparagus, and then think they have a chance at winning my prestigious award. I refuse to acknowledge such submissions.”

Among those he has rejected from appearing on the “Very Longlist” include: The Sacrosanct Foreskin of Christ in the Cult and Theology of the Papish Church of Berlin (1907) for being too old, and The Religious Psycho Killer’s Shit List — cut for falling foul of Bent’s “properly published” criteria.

Bent has now whittled the competing titles down to a “Very Longlist” of 49 titles, with The Origin of Faeces, Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich and The Master Cheesemakers of Wisconsin just three of the titles vying for the most coveted award in the publishing industry.

Mickey Mouse, Hitler and Nazi Germany, Is the Rectum a Grave? and Peek-a-poo: What’s in Your Diaper? also stand a chance of making the shortlist.

A panel of judges, with Bent as chair, will announce the shortlist on 19th February, at which point the public will be invited to vote on their favourite. The title with the most votes by the closing date (21st March) will be crowned the winner — to be officially revealed on Friday 26th March.

The “Very Longlist” in full:

100 Girls on Cheap Paper
A Tortilla is Like Life
Advances in Potato Chemistry and Technology
Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter
An Intellectual History of Cannibalism
Bacon: A Love Story
Baptist Autographs in the John Rylands University Library of Manchester 1741-1845
Bondage for Beginners
Briefs for the Reading Room
Budgeting for Infertility
Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich
Crocheting Adventures with Hyperbolic Planes
Curbside Consultation in Cornea and External Disease
Cute Yummy Time
Dental Management of Sleep Disorders
Father Christmas Needs a Wee
Fluffy Little Kitten in Fluffy's Brother
Food Digestion and Thermal Preference of Toad
Governing Lethal Behavior in Autonomous Robots
How YOU Are Like Shampoo: For Job Seekers
I Stopped Sucking My Thumb…Why Can't You Stop Drinking?
I'm Not Hanging Noodles on Your Ears
Is the Rectum a Grave?
Jokes by the Not So Famous Redneck
Map-based Comparative Genomics in Legumes
Mickey Mouse, Hitler and Nazi Germany
My Hare Line Meets the Brown Rabbit
Obama Guilty of Being President While Black
Peek-a-poo: What's in Your Diaper?
Planet Asthma: Art and Acitivty Book
Plough Music
Plug-in Electric Vehicles: What Role for Washington?
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Proceedings of the Fourth Annual Bean Conference
Schoolgirl Milky Crisis
Soft Drink & Fruit Juice Problems Solved
Ten Stupid Things That Keep Churches from Growing
The Changing World of Inflammatory Bowel Disease
The First Home-Built Aeroplanes
The Great Dog Bottom Swap
The Master Cheesemakers of Wisconsin
The Origin of Faeces
The Quotable Douchebag
The True History of Tea
The Wild World of Girly Men and Masculine Women - And Why Americans Suffer from So Many Other Idiotic Syndromes!
Venus Does Adonis While Apollo Shags a Tree
What Horses Do For Us
What Kind of Bean is this Chihuahua?

2 February 2010

On Feb 1, 2010, at 12:22 PM, C.Culp wrote:

I am a 25 year old fantasy writer working on my first novel. A friend of mine gave me your email and suggested I try and make contact with you. I am just looking to develop a dialog with someone who might have been in my shoes before. I am interested in knowing more about what to expect and what moves I should be making at this stage of the process. I have about 100 pages down on paper, the rest is roughly composed (but just existing in my head). If you have any advice or guidance I would greatly appreciate it. I do understand however, if you are busy with your own work and other projects. I won’t take a rejection personally. Thank you so much for your time.

Sincerely,
Chas D. Culp

Hello Chas

I suggest you search my blog archives, where I frequently write about creativity and writing; and also follow people like me (MrsTad) and InkyElbows on Twitter (there are lots of people there blogging about the daily business of writing.) Blog URL: Boudicca.

But I should point out that I think you are asking the wrong questions. It takes many years of writing to acquire the skills that enable you to create a saleable work. 100pp is, I’m afraid, but a toe in the water.

If you want to be a writer, then your first desire must be to write. The real question is are you prepared to do it and put it at the center of your life for many years, without monetary reward whilst you learn the skills.

You must be prepared to write a great deal that doesn’t sell – all writers go through that, and keep projects on file that they can return to later. Ultimately pursuing writing in your lifestyle will bring you into contact with the professional leads you will need to sell work – conventions, writing groups, on-line publications.

Good luck and all good wishes – Deborah Beale

Deborah,
Thank you for the advice and kind words. I feel like your words just reinforced what I knew was inevitable. I’ve got to go into the pit and do some work and then plan from there. Thank you for taking the time to answer. I feel like even communicating with a professional author strengthens my creative drive.

Sincerely,
Chas

P.S. A toe in the water at age 25 is OK with me. What age did you start the plunge?

Chas,
I was a book publisher in London for 13, 15 years. I ghost-wrote lots of manuscripts, when authors turned in a poor job – mostly non-fiction. Started writing fiction in my 30s, though it gets complicated there with being a member of a start-up, then leaving, having children and taking several years out to learn a few basics. Now for me writing fiction is about trying to make my own opportunities. Being married to Tad has never been much of a help (I didn’t need the contacts), though learning from him has been invaluable.

It’s a life path.

All best! Deborah

p.s. Not taking rejection personally is a great skill to have – hang onto it and it will serve you well

31 January 2010

Proof that Tad once had lots of hair:

Proof that chihuahuas smile:

And here's my new laffing Buddha - ain't he fine? Can't you feel the comic absurdity of everything when you see his smile? Girl of the House says: "Eww, Mom. He's got man-boobs!"

Man boobs? The only answer to that is:

But you know he's still laffing.

20 January 2010

Received an email that asked me some heart-of-the-matter questions:

I also am passionate about writing, to such a degree that I sometimes prioritize it over my homework (not good...) I know that I’ll be writing all my life, whether or not I get published, and whether or not anyone likes my work.

That’s good – that’s the right stuff – To be a writer, you must do it as a part of life, and as a way of life, first and foremost, before you try to figure out how to make a living.

But the more I look into it, the more I am convinced that it is nearly impossible to get published. It’s like a crap shoot. How did you get your foot in the door? How did you start? After you had a manuscript polished to the best of your ability, what did you do with it? What do publishers and agents look for, and like?

Well, the specifics of that can be found all over the web – do some research. But the solutions lie in this:

First of all, you must figure out how to sell what you write. You need to identify what other writers have done that has sold, then you need to find out how to do something like that for your own work. A very good life-path to look at for that is Neil Gaiman. There is nothing accidental about how he figured out his career, and much to be learned from it, I suspect.

Another thing that makes a difference is having lots of energy. You must evolve your own mind, so that it turns into an ideas machine. It happens, basically... What produces a flow of ideas is the interaction of one’s mind with one’s environment, plus a story sensibility (which comes from constantly looking at interesting stories, and writing, writing, writing.)

Doing this with lots of energy, so that you produce lots of ideas – or even, getting yourself into a professional context where you’re obliged to deliver ideas (that often requires moving to centers of cultural activity, like New York, or any city in any state with an arts scene) – all of that works to push you forwards.

Write a novel that’s the best you can make it, and write it thinking about what makes something appealing and saleable, or commercial. Do that about ten times more, plus lots of short stories and blogs and any other writing gig that you can get along the way, and by then you’ll have acquired enough skills and contacts to assemble work, if not a career, out of it.

Writing, for most people involved, pays not much. And you do have to prioritize it over pretty much everything else in your life. It’s difficult! But what makes the difference is the desire, simply, to write. That’s what drives people on.

Hope this throws some light –
Sincerely, Deborah

9 January 2010

Kevin Koperski sent me this, and it’s such a neat summary of the issues that I wanted to post it here.

“Amazon is making a hard play across the entire publishing world. But so is Google. And so will others if publishers don’t get creative. Most people I know don’t read books (except the occasional James Patterson or Dan Brown mystery). E-readers have people talking about books again, excited again by the concept of reading. Will that translate to more book sales? I have no idea. But it’s fascinating. And Amazon is pioneering the adventure. Maybe their vision is dangerous for publishers, but that alone is not necessarily bad. The questions are: Is it dangerous for authors/consumers? Will the accessibility of quality writing deteriorate? Will it be more or less difficult for authors/editors to make money? Will control escape the hands of literary agents? What happens to current distribution models (because books won’t go away)? Lots of questions. On one hand, Amazon’s tactics are frightening and seemingly monopolistic, but on the other hand they might prove the revolutionary spark that kickstarts a new and better publishing world. I’m not entirely sold on ebooks. I still buy all my books in hardcover, even if I read them on the Kindle. But I’m willing to give Amazon the benefit of the doubt while also hoping the rest of the industry can step up and create a revolution of their own. A single player would be bad, but if that player is the only one innovating, what good are the players on the bench anyway?”